This may feel more relatable in places with less brutal summers than our lovely desert…
For those that know me, know I’ve struggled with depression in the past. Honestly, those thoughts and tendencies try bringing me back to that place every so often, but God is constantly saving me from that storm (Matthew 14:30-31). With His help, I always need to search my heart to understand what it is each time that brought me to struggle again. I promise you, He always reveals it to me. Coming back from my England trip, I stumbled over a bit of a comparison trap, dwelling on how much more I loved life overseas. I focused on how much more difficult my daily life can be living in Tucson. I felt like my identity was fading and that my prayers lacked heart. It robbed me of living in the moment and of experiencing all the joy that was right in front of me. I couldn’t see how the Lord satisfies my needs in this sun-scorched land like unfailing springs of water (Isaiah 58:11). When my mind returns to the rut of negativity and unmotivation, it becomes tricky pulling it out from there on my own.
“His power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The storms of life are relentless to work against us all. Whether it be returning from a beautiful trip, facing difficult news, battling personal setbacks, you name it. We know this well as Christians. Throughout the Bible, we are reminded, the enemy “prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). I become slightly neurotic having this knowledge sometimes. Anxiously questioning myself, “am I doing everything right,” and “where might I be failing?” While these can be productive to ask yourself at times, I find a vicious cycle taking place that I must recognize. The enemy is working behind the scenes of these anxious questions while dimming God’s light of peace and grace. It’s only after diving into the depths of all that Christ is, I remember it is finished. A phrase that once made no sense to me, but now abundantly frees my restless soul, it is finished. I don’t have to save myself. Of course do your best, acting in faith, and simply praying all throughout the day, recognizing any of the failures that need forgiveness. But remembering I don’t have to get lost while I’m making sure I’m not getting lost. Notice how dangerous the cycle. That’s why God sent His son for us to be free. He knew we could never be perfect, even as much as we try to be! Such a simple lesson, but one I must relearn constantly.
“After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who calls you to His eternal glory in Christ will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10).
In between the “rainy days”, I get to learn about God’s relationship with me, and there I find all the beauty. There’s the summer. It’s the relationship that maps out where I let go, and God is in control. Where He calls me to stand and be strong, or to be silent in stillness. To reach out and lend a hand, or run to His hiding place.
It’s only after diving into the depths of all that Christ is, I remember it is finished. A phrase that once made no sense to me, but now abundantly frees my restless soul, it is finished. I don’t have to save myself.
“But he said to them, ‘I have food to eat that you know nothing about'” (John 4:32-34). I could give so many verses that speak this beautiful truth further but would rather challenge you to commit to a Bible reading plan for yourself. Walk with Christ, let Him show you the miracles and mercy Himself.
I wish you all the best and always welcome any questions. Also any requests for prayer or support. I’m here with love for any of you, no matter if you’re reading this and we’ve had a bad past or don’t talk anymore.
God bless you. From my heart to yours,
Blog update: While I cherish the series for intentions I had originally outlined in my previous post, it appears that I will need to come back to it. For now, I don’t want this blog, for its purpose, to be too structured. Rather, I find it more natural to post and create the topics as they come. Thank you for reading and stay tuned!