“Though the seasons change, your love remains.” (Seasons Change – United Pursuit)
The past few months have been full of personal discoveries that I resent not having made time to post anything about to share with my lovely blog readers.
Lies had me believe that I should only share perfectly polished ideas that I fully understood already. Rather than simply presenting myself as is, mess and all. Today I want to explore the question, How am I hiding from growing myself and others by having this mentality?
Even in the simplicity of Genesis 1, as God began forming the Earth, He finds the good in what’s incomplete and still in the works. Take a look at the beauty in verses 10 and 11, “God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good. And (THEN) God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. (emphasis added).”
I got *so* excited after reading this from new perspective and realizing the following point. Before lifeforms, before anything could even bear fruit, before creation could get to work creating something else, it. is. good. to God! He finds the dry, barren Earth and empty seas all good, just how they are. Because He knows what He’s about to make them become. Love it!
The perfectionist part of me needs this encouraging reminder for when I’m called to serve others, knowing that the story I share may be incomplete and far from polished, but who am I to decide it wouldn’t help even one person or glorify God?
I’m under the impression that God’s once again planting a seed in me to embrace my story, gifts, and interests more. We all have great stories to tell that are sure to benefit another. I realize the need to accept vulnerability that comes from allowing others to know who we truly are. In this digital, filtered, disconnected world, I hear a cry for stronger community with one another, requiring the removal of security blankets we hide behind to keep up the facade of perfection.
Over these past months, I wrote posts that remained in drafts, attempting to explain the trials I went through with my health, anxiety, and identity in Christ. I didn’t know how to finish my posts because I felt they didn’t have any end point or resolution since I was still in the midst of it. Despite constant prayer and bible study, I struggled to find balance, peace, and rest. Sure I’ve been incredibly busy and exhausted but I always make time for my personal journal writing, so I know I could’ve been making time to update my blog too.
As I stated in my first intentions, this blog should purely reflect my journey. I hope to sustain that better now, uncovering the deeper layers that make me. No matter the immediate fear reaction or overwhelm of ideas to organize. No matter my inner-critic labeling me as unqualified and pointing out all my tendencies to ramble in writing!
Besides, the more I practice, the more room for improvement. Get excited for new posts and get ready to go a little deeper!
My confidence is in the Lord to establish and strengthen me through this. He’s never failed. I thank God for strengthening me along my journey. Most importantly, all my praises go to Him who is the great author of it all!