This season has been that of a blazing fire. Exciting, triggering, full of various hurts but all the more passion and purpose. I’m back in my college classes to get this undergraduate thing finished and done with (Junior year!)! Don’t get me wrong, I love school. I just don’t love the financial toll and balancing act it can be.
Upon beginning this session of classes, I felt my soul reignite. It reinstated the calling on my life in the health and wellness field. Academically, I’ve felt right at home with renewed inspiration.
Outside of academics however, I’ve been quite lonely and homesick. I don’t know if I would post a blog like this in any other season of my life, but I’d rather be known deeply these days. In my personal time, I’m studying the importance of vulnerability. I’ve learned that the value of authenticity far surpasses all other efforts in public appearance.
In face of this loneliness, however, I feel blessed. I love my family with all my heart, but if there’s a hard lesson I had to learn at an early age, it’s that you only have you at the end of the day. I’m being reminded of that. It may sound dark but I find it humbling. This clears space where space is needed, where no one can take kingship over my heart other than my God. Rightfully so.
Even though I’ve always had the desire (I believe God-given) to have a family I’m very close with, I also know that this is something I get to build. I’ve been proclaiming that over my future family, where disconnection breaks off and genuine love and care will abound.
It has always seemed like I came into my family late somehow. As though I could never really find my place or receive the validation I needed. But it just so happened that it wasn’t what I really needed after all.
But I appreciate the family I do have. The sense of love that is always there and the support that I can go to if needed. I’m inspired for future versions of these relationships once more vulnerability has struck and also for the future family I get to build.
One more thing before I go this time… I took professional (AT HOME) headshots for scholarship applications. Let me know how they turned out and if I can help you do the same if you’re on a budget like me!